Friday, 2 March 2012
Therapy: the import of belonging
The feeling of being rejected is one of embarrassment, resignation, pride and, I must confess, acceptance. I accept rejection because I understand it. I too need my ranging space to roam. There is one caveat lector. I do not mind space as long as the pack is ranging out there with me. When 24 years ago one of my stepbrothers went to a shrink (we were living with his dad in his old house) he had to put animals to the family members. He named me aptly. Sadly for the wrong reasons. Thing is: I am a loner, but I am pack. And that is terribly important.
There are many reasons for me to think of myself as different: I am from the rich side of the street, I have ADD, I am gifted and my childhood was more fucked up than most. I am probably emotionally immature and maybe highly sensitive (although I seriously doubt that). But all that doesn't matter: I am pack and this is my forest. How stupid of me to have forgotten that.
So do I truly think I am an animal? No, thanks to the medication less and less so. Do I know how to become human again? Yes, of course, the body remembers.(Socrates dialogue with the boy in Plato's Meno, 280 BC,start reading where the "boy" enters the dialogue). I am not an animal but I am still Pack, I BELONG. This realisation of this simple truth generates a new desire: I want to go HOME!! And for the first time in ages, I feel certain that I will get there. It will be a long journey, but I am ready to come out and play.
Special thanks to The Real Gifted and Jonathan Carroll for convincing me you do not need to become a complete wuss to do so!