Friday, 18 May 2012

Solitary Learner

Today two great websites passed my computer. The first is a Blog by an anonymous 41 year old woman called  Vindra Pendred (not a real name). Vindra is smart and perceptive and relatively normal. She points out that more often then not Normal people are unable to follow the line of reasoning while other ADD patients can.To her non-ADHD are stupid and stuck in their ways. Her blog is called ADHD vs inside the box, which sums it up nicely.
In my mind the out of the box thinking of ADHD is closely linked to Solitary learning, the need to make up your own mind. This influences both communication and speed of learning.

Tuesday, 15 May 2012

Diary Entry

It has been a couple of days since my newly found right brainedness. Both at work and privately my projects are in a bit of a mess right now. People look at me worriedly amd my mailbox has exploded to 277 unread mail. Time for me to get into action!
It looks bad, but it is the type of situation I frequently find myself in. All that is needed is some focus, and taking small steps. First thing I need to do is reduce the number of projects I am working on, finish the most important one on time and wing it with the rest.

Monday, 14 May 2012

Right Brained

Those that have been reading my Blog know I was doubting between ADD, HSP and Giftednedd as the root of all evil. Reading a Blog on comprehensive reading problems and ADD/ ADHD has taught me differently! Although the factors above may contribute, being right brained explains my condition far better.
I came across a blog of some well meaning left brainer who was trying to "solve" ADD/ ADHD reading comprehension. The Blog just screamed at me he was lost, in an area that was completely obvious to me! I must confess, the underlying assumption that something was wrong with ADHD children also struck a cord of sympathy for the man's poor pupils. What a terrible thing to be coached by some one who does not understand you. I went overboard a bit I must confess. Here is what happened.

Wednesday, 9 May 2012

Diary entry

There is a lull in my progress that is noticeable in a Classic ADD relapse. Yesterday my company had a motivational event that really had me nervous. It was a seven hour meeting day with nothing but significant others. So I felt nervous to begin with. The kind of indistinct feeling there are loose ends that will come to hound you later on. 10 minutes before all the meetings begin something happens to upset me: four prints where required and the printer server was not working swift enough causing me to double print and to run back and forth to the printer a kazilion times. Next, the print for the motivational session was lost, causing me to go through my papers three times. Then, just when I had cut short the first meeting, the first meeting got cancelled, the second was a no show and got resheduled in the only free time slot of the day. The third meeting got resheduled until after work hours, then we had the motivational session, during which I lost my colleagues because there were some urgent emails that needed answering (from my direct boss).
The motivational event was great! Everything was carefully orchestrated, including testimonials and the lot. Afterwards some people wer sceptical, being of the view that they had seen it all before, seeing is believing, etcmm Not me. For me the glass is half full. Part of the ideas put forward were completely new to the organisation and a step in the right direction! Sure, there are always restrictions that force management to act in discord with their stated intentions, but hey, for an ADD that is completely understandable and justified. At least the stated intentions were heartfelt and to me that is what counts. Gifteds are extremely sensitive to these things. I felt really motivated. Then came a meeting session from hell in three different buildings, half hour a piece, and all of them important. My foursqaure rating could have gone up but the pressure was such that I completely forgot to log in.
At e quarter to five there was some me time, which I used to check up on a co-worker that was coordinating the intake of financial plans of eight different departments that needed to be consolidated yesterday. All was going well, there were only three pieces missing, one from a newbie, one from me myself, and one from another sloppy controller. Hurry up and do my financial plan, hand it in, and during this work my after hours meeting shows up. Fortunately the guy that also still needed to hand in his plan. We had a shot meeting discussed progress and went our ways, leaving me time to finish my financial plan.
Then Peter shows up. He is leaving the company and doing a sort of round to get things of his chest/ work through emotions and tying up loose ends. We discussed the motivational session. Even Peter is a bit indecisive on the integrity of management. Strange how people need to voice discontent when there is nothing they can do anyway. Why not just enjoy the show?
After that I finally had some time to process my email. Departure time sprung on me, making me rush. A quick run past all building to up my foursquare points. In the first tube twitter caught my eye. In particular there was a blog I wanted to respond to but disqus was not working. Quickly into another tube and away to pick up my son. Texting I was late. Relief for reaching the building and glad he had not come out of class! Then he texts me back asking where I was. Wrong building, wrong side of town! Damn! Poor boy to have me for a father. Another tube, some more rushing, pick up the kid and home. (By now it is 9 o'clock). Make dinner for the two of us, rehearse his homework with him and look at the days shopping my wife and daughter have done, and the art projects they have been working on.
By the time everyone has gone to bed I crash on the couch and play some zelda.

Not that I feel guilty (except to my son. It just is not the progress I imagined it would be! Hopefully a better week next week.


Sunday, 6 May 2012

Diary Entry

Quick update today. The "I" game was really hard this weekend! Basically relations with loved ones are too intense to be able to play that way. Sunday afternoon was spend preparing the week and catching up on email. 273 email this week took approx 6 hours of work. Microsoft was right, you should plan for 1 hour of email drama a day. Does not feel right, but since there are no further solutions, lets stick with the program for now. In addition to the email workload there is the rehashing of meeting minutes. Prince2 prescribes a workable to do list. There is still a backlog of a few days, but the outlook for now is positive and a to do list does allow you to follow up, much like the flagged email allows me to. So, the planning stuff is progressing nicely.

The communication is still not what it should be. My wife adapted to Thomas Gordon. My ADD is still preventing me from transitioning to the new paradigm. Having to change feels for me like infringement of my privacy. It is difficult to give you the actual reasoning why it works that way but it does. For example my morning routine is interrupted by my son with support of my wife (they stole my shower time slot because my son slept in). That sort of thing really gets to me. Is it ADD, is it autism (it has been suggested throughout my life), is it a Gifted's sense of injustice or is it just me, being cranky in the morning? My hope is now on Deborah Tannen with "I only say this because I love you". More reading, less blogging for the next couple of days.