Monday, 9 April 2012

A new beginning

It is Easter and the Lord has risen  The light has come into the world and the water from the temple has washed away all sin. Not so in my private surroundings. In the spirit of things I had decided to come clean on my personal feelings of depression towards my wife: bad idea! She got terribly upset for having her shiny bright future taken away from her (makes me wonder whether she is still in denial about my ADD).

Anyway, in my opinion the night is darkest just before the dawn. The conflict with my wife accentuated a very different outlook on life between me and my wife. We share the same values in life but we have two completely different outlooks on life: I want to understand everything so I do not run any risks. My wife just wants to win at any cost. For me to admit depression, to her is the beginning of defeat and thus wholly unacceptable. So there the essence of the conflict and a valuable lesson for me: I can not discuss that kind of thing with my wife.

Does that mean our relationship is over? Not in the least. My wife is not very open with her feelings, I am not with mine, which means there is a mutual understanding to leave each other in peace when need be. The reason we can respect one another is that I respect her communication skills and she can respect my depth of knowledge and both can shine in intellectual endeavour.

To keep with the spirit of Easter: I see the light! Now just to have my wife see what she needs to work with, forgive each other the hurt and bruised feelings and we are ready to go!


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